Joke: When Grandma Goes To Court

Joke: When Grandma Goes To Court

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.     In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.' The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?' She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.' The defense attorney nearly died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'

男人語錄

男人語錄

男人與女人的戰爭沒停止過，尤其在婚後。不信嗎？以下幾段莫名其妙、不知所云、避重就輕的“語錄”便出自某個男人幫的私人聚會： 

 “Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.”

  “Why do men die before their wives?  We want to! ”

  “Marriage is a 3-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.”

 “In the beginning, god created earth and rested.  Then god created man and rested.  Then god created woman. Since then, neither god nor man has rested!”

 “Marriage is an expensive way to get out laundry done for free!”

 “The most effective way to remember my wife’s birthday is to forget it once!”

 Men never know what real happiness was until they hot married; and then it was too late!

 “Did you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law!”

The world is going crazy

The world is going crazy

You know the world is going crazy when
the best rapper is a white guy,
the best golfer is a black guy,
the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese,
the Swiss hold the America's Cup,
France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance,
Germany doesn't want to go to war,
and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon.

Need I say more?